Friday, May 05, 2006
We all die someday
My grandfather's funeral today.. I am not shocked but I'm just really sad. I can still vividly remember his very last look at me when I visited him at the hospital barely 24 hours before.
That smile.
I was trying hard not to get emotional in front of him, so I tried to keep it light and I was my usual giggly self. Before I left the ward, I went up-close to him, kissed his hand, smiled widely and said "I'm going home first, I'll come again tomorrow.." He looked at me and beneath his oxygen mask, I could see his warm smile, and he muttered "brondoll.." (his affectionate way of calling me eversince I was a baby - coz I was the only grandchild then that had really curly hair).
That was his last smile and that was his last word. I could never ask for more than his smile and his calling me.
When I witnessed his burial at the graveyard, every soil that hit him, hit me. I was telling myself "Look at the amount of soil piling up on him, what if he can't breathe??? What if he can't come out???" It was then that the harsh reality finally hit me. HE IS ALREADY DEAD. It is his time to return to God. He is no longer alive. It was the first time I felt the real pain of reality piercing through me. That moment hit me like a bolt of lightning.
Nevertheless, he lived a fortunate life, getting to see his great grandson and having his children care for him in every circumstance. He received tremendous love from his children, grandchildren, and friends. My grandfather was a good man. Even while he was on the verge of dying, he could still remember the names and faces of all his children and grandchildren. He never forgot anything. He died peacefully in his sleep. It was a blessing.
Death doesn't scare me. Regret does. Everyone dies someday, it is the worth of your life before you die that truly means something.
"Grandpa, I miss you, and I'll see you again."
you searched with her @ 7:12 PM
0 comments
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home